The broken inner child and its many needs

Jay Heinrichs book „Thank You for Arguing” has been translated into eleven languages. It has become standard reading in high school AP English Language classes, gets taught in thousands of college and law school courses, and became a New York Times education bestseller. Yet, Jay Heinrichs’s videos on Youtube, in which he teaches how to write winning essays, are getting a mere few hundred views.

Meanwhile, some college students and uni grads, eloquent with great hair, thick eyebrows and winning smiles, even though new to the field, get millions of views on their videos on the same topic. Some of these young entrepreneurs make 7 figure incomes from it. Mind-blowing, to my mind.

That’s just one example, there’s plenty of such opposites – including myself. Even though I have been working hands-on with clients for almost two decades, my Youtube videos make a mere $200 (two hundred dollars) per month – meanwhile the friendly looking, self-proclaimed doctor showing dumb, seen-it-a-hundred-times-before stretching exercises makes a fortune. Every month.

Why is that?

[Insert 10,000 big marketing books and 1 million videos about successful marketing strategies here]

The original reason might not be a lack of marketing bells-and-whistles, but utterly human: a whole lot of babies have been neglected. They didn’t get the attention, space, environment, emotional nutrition, and love they needed. And thus – it seems like – a whole lot of people spend a lifetime trying to make up for what they have been missing (or have been denied) in their first years.

It is a serious problem. Having been neglected as a baby creates serious disturbances all throughout life. In all kind of areas.

But there are ways to make up for it.

Maybe one kind of „therapy” is finding a colourful thumbnail on Youtube. With a man or a woman who looks friendly and healthy. In just the right age the past parent could have been. Who leans into the camera just like mama (or papa) never did – or failed to do so often. And makes a funny face. Or a laughing face. Or a peek-a-boo face. Or looks like she’s about to sing a song. Or tell a story.

And then the big media mama or papa is explaining the world. In very simple terms. Very colorful. She explains how to be beautiful. He explains how to be successful. She encourages. He comforts. She sings. He tells. She. He. They. We.

I. feel. accepted. I. deserve. to be. loved.

These marketeers, actors, singers, content-creators, funnel-managers have a gentle, calming effect on the inner child. For a moment the pain, the discomfort, the scariness of life is reduced. Maybe even the loneliness disappeared, for a moment.

That’s pretty good actually. Self-selected micro-therapy, free of cost (and commitment).

But: How much of this do people need? When can they finally move on, and live their adult lives?